Peter was estranged from his dad for some time, due in part to his mom’s tragic suicide, but they ultimately reconciled before Henry died in 1982
Peter Fonda’s life, as a member of a Hollywood dynasty, was marked by both triumph and trauma. The son of screen legend Henry Fonda, Peter faced a strained relationship with his father for most of his life. This relationship grew more complex and painful following the suicide of his mother, Frances Ford Seymour Fonda, in the 1950s.
In his 1998 book, “Don’t Tell Dad: A Memoir,” Peter detailed much of the pain he endured. Despite describing his father as a “forbidding figure,” Peter eventually reconciled with Henry before his death in 1982.
As the second-born child to Henry and Frances, Peter soon realized that having glamorous parents and luxurious homes in Los Angeles and suburban Connecticut did not equate to a storybook childhood. When Peter was six years old, his father sent him to boarding school. For years, Peter saw his father, who was often remote and away on set, as a “starchy” man, in stark contrast to the “archetypal decent man” that the world perceived Henry to be in his films.
Peter Fonda, who died on Friday from respiratory failure due to lung cancer, leaves behind a legacy shaped by both his achievements and the challenges he faced within his family.
Peter Fonda’s earliest memories of his father, Henry Fonda, were a mix of warmth and trauma. One poignant memory was when Henry left for the war in 1943. “I remember the smell of his skin, his rough, unshaven face rubbing mine as he hugged me goodbye,” Peter wrote in his memoir. However, a more scarring memory occurred upon Henry’s return.
Peter recalled a night when the family gathered in the living room to listen to Henry’s stories. Peter wandered off to his father’s dressing room and, while exploring his “personals,” he found a bowl of pennies and candies. He took a candy without permission and returned to the living room, where his father noticed him sucking on it. Henry’s reaction was terrifying to young Peter.
When Henry asked where he got the candy, Peter said he had just found it. “He bellowed that I was a liar,” Peter wrote. Panicked, Peter ran, with his father in hot pursuit. He locked himself in the bathroom, but Henry kicked the door in, picked Peter up by his neck, and gave him a severe spanking.
Peter also shared that his father was embarrassed by his skinny figure and tried to help him gain weight by making him drink goat’s milk. These experiences contributed to Peter’s complex and often painful relationship with his father, shaping much of his early life and influencing the memories he shared in his memoir, “Don’t Tell Dad: A Memoir.”
Despite the challenges and trauma Peter Fonda faced, he also had cherished bonding moments with his father, Henry Fonda. Peter fondly recalled how Henry would set aside special time for them to have lunch together almost every day while his sister Jane and half-sister Pan were at school. “We ate sandwiches and drank large beers. I was seven, and having beers with my father was the absolute best, something none of my friends ever got to do with their dads,” Peter wrote in his memoir.
The Fonda family’s dynamic took a tragic turn in 1950 when Peter’s mother, Frances, who struggled with her mental health, took her own life while at a nearby mental institution. At the time, Peter was ten and Jane was twelve. Henry told them that their mother had suffered a heart attack while in the hospital, a story he stuck to as he rarely mentioned Frances or the tragedy thereafter.
Peter recalled the moment he was informed about his mother’s death: “When I walked toward [my family] they told me to go through the closed doors and into the living room. I opened the doors and saw Jane, Grandma, and Dad sitting on the couches,” he wrote. “Jane was on Dad’s lap. I went to Grandma, and she told me Mother had died of a heart attack, in a hospital.”
After Frances’s death, the subject was almost completely avoided within the family. “No one ever talked about Mom. No one seemed to miss her. It was almost as if she had never lived,” Peter wrote. Neither Peter nor Jane attended a funeral or service for their mother, and Peter didn’t know where she was buried. This silence and lack of acknowledgment added to the complex and often painful relationship Peter had with his father and his family history.
In a 2014 interview with PEOPLE, Jane Fonda reflected on how her brother Peter struggled to cope with their mother Frances’ death, particularly because no one in the family discussed it. “It was like she’d just been erased,” Jane said. She recounted a poignant memory from the Christmas following their mother’s death, when Peter filled a chair with presents and a letter for Frances. “He couldn’t stand that there was no acknowledgment of her. He was such a sensitive, sweet, vulnerable kid.”
It wasn’t until ten years after their mother’s death that a 20-year-old Peter finally learned the truth about what had happened. During a summer apprenticeship at a local theater in Fishkill, New York, he often visited a local diner. One day, the diner owner, with whom Peter had chatted throughout the summer, sat down next to him and revealed a yellowed newspaper clipping.
“The owner of the local diner, a man with whom I’d chatted all summer, sat down next to me at the bar. He pulled out his wallet and removed a yellowed newspaper clipping,” Peter recalled. “My eyes were perfect in those days, and I saw the same photograph of my mother that had been in The New York Times for my birth announcement, but the copy was very different: Frances Seymour Fonda, wife of the actor Henry Fonda, committed suicide yesterday at the Craig House, a posh asylum in Beacon, New York.”
Peter was stunned by this revelation. He said, “I sat there for two or three minutes, speechless… Everyone else knew. Knew everything! But not me.” This moment marked a significant and painful turning point in Peter’s understanding of his family’s history and his mother’s tragic end.
To cope with the bombshell about his mother’s death, Peter Fonda immersed himself in his work and pursued a career in acting. He appeared in films such as Tammy and the Doctor, The Victors, Ulee’s Gold, The Hired Hand, The Trip, and Wild Angels (1966), where he starred opposite Nancy Sinatra and Bruce Dern.
Peter’s breakout role came in 1969 with Easy Rider, where he played Wyatt. He also produced and co-scripted the film, earning an Academy Award nomination for Best Original Screenplay. During this period, Peter, who was then married, embraced the counterculture’s drugs and sexual freedom, which eventually contributed to his 1972 divorce from his first wife, Susan Brewer. Peter and Susan had two children together: daughter Bridget Fonda and son Justin Fonda.
In 1975, Peter married Portia Crockett. They lived in Montana with Portia’s son Thomas. It was during this time that Peter reached out to his father, Henry Fonda, offering him a role in the 1979 film Wanda Nevada. Henry accepted the role, which provided an opportunity for the father and son to begin mending their strained relationship. Peter made a conscious effort to express his love to his father at the end of their conversations, a sentiment he rarely heard from Henry throughout his life. This marked a significant step toward healing their relationship.
One day, after spending an afternoon together, Peter Fonda experienced a deeply emotional moment with his father, Henry Fonda. As Henry was leaving, he began to cry and, with great difficulty, expressed his love to his son. “Slowly and choking on the high-powered emotion, he said, ‘I love you very much, son. I want you to know that,’” Peter wrote in his memoir.
Peter, overwhelmed with emotion, hugged his father tightly, feeling the pacemaker in Henry’s chest. With tears streaming down his own cheeks, Peter told his father he loved him too and kissed him on the lips, a first for them. After driving away, Peter stopped at a nearby park to have a much-needed cry, feeling years of frustration and pain melting away.
Tragically, Peter and Henry had only two years to enjoy their newly reconciled relationship before Peter received a devastating call from Henry’s wife, Shirlee Mae Adams, informing him that Henry was in critical condition at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.
Upon arriving at the hospital in 1982, Peter shared a profound final moment with his father. Henry, very weak and lying in bed, opened his eyes and looked around the room. After focusing on Shirlee, he turned his gaze to Peter, fixing him with his blue eyes. “‘I love you so very much, son. I want you to know that.’ And he closed his eyes and lay his head back on the pillow,” Peter recalled. These were the last words Henry spoke before he passed away.
Reflecting on this moment, Peter said, “I went back to the ranch, satisfied that I had parted with my father in a very pure way.” This final expression of love provided a sense of closure and peace to their once tumultuous relationship.
The Fonda family confirmed to PEOPLE that Peter Fonda died on Friday at the age of 79 due to respiratory failure caused by lung cancer. In an exclusive statement, the family expressed their sorrow:
“It is with deep sorrow that we share the news that Peter Fonda has passed away,” they said. “[Peter] passed away peacefully on Friday morning, August 16 at 11:05 a.m. at his home in Los Angeles surrounded by family.”
The family continued, “In one of the saddest moments of our lives, we are not able to find the appropriate words to express the pain in our hearts. As we grieve, we ask that you respect our privacy.”
They concluded by acknowledging Peter’s legacy: “And, while we mourn the loss of this sweet and…
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “home” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
